I read an Nerd Fitness article  and I want to share this with you.

Self-confidence can be quickly build ? This is one of the traits that everyone want to maximize. It’s a huge impact for the first impression.

To be sure that you and me are on the same frequency about confidence :

James Bond – He’s an incredible ability to stay calm and cool under pressure. He’s able to tell you a subtle « punchline » in incredible situations.

Your best female friend – she can initiate a conversation with anyone and become a good friend in minutes.

Your friend that quickly evolves into a company and you have the impression that he has it from birth.

Can we build our confidence or is out of control ?

What’s self-confidence

I’m not speaking of people working for 6-packs or people who follow seductions courses (yes, I did, I admit). These approaches to build self-confidence aren’t complete, they doesn’t create a real solid foundation. If you read the Neil Strauss book « The Game », I advice you « The Truth, an uncomfortable book about relationships ».

The true self-confidence shows to the world who you really are (and it excites you). Think about your friends that changes behavior when they want to try to impress anyone. I know you’ve seen it several times and it’s weird !

It isn’t necessary to change who you are to impress someone, stay who you are and still progressing. We all work for progress, but we also need to respect ourselves. We work every day to self-improvement.

Could you think of what kind of self-confidence you want to build :

• The quiet confidence of someone who commands respect ?

• The boisterous person enters in a room and everyone wants to become best friends with ?

• The lovable goofball that doesn’t take itself too seriously ?

Once we found the kind of self-confidence we want to build, we can apply this following tips.

Moves with confidence

Do you know that sitting in a certain way just a few minutes before an appointment or an interview can boost your chances of success ?

This is crazy, right ? This is really serious ! Just by changing your posture, you can psychologically develop more confidence in few minutes. You don’t believe me ? Ok, now uses a posture where you look to have a great self-confidence.

You feel better ? You feel you can do whatever you want ?

That’s non-verbal communication. This is how we stand, how we walk, how we look. Once you understand these things, you can « hack » your body language to increase your self-confidence unconsciously.

There is an Amy Cuddy’s video about this subject .

By having a self-confidence posture before entering a tense situation you’ll unconsciously adjust your brain to respond to this situation.

Here some examples of « great self-confidence » that you can use before an event where you need to have more self-confidence :

• Hands raised above your head in a victory pose

• Hands on hips like Superman or Wonder Woman

• Legs crossed and hands behind head

• Sprawled out across a seat

Mark the first impression

Social interactions can be a challenge for some people. Even the most confidence looking person can be a « zero » in social interactions and expects that other people start the conversation.

There are 2 important tips, scientifically proven, that will make you appear more confidence :

Smile – People will respond to the emotion you project. If you project « I’m happy and cool », they will want to be happy unconsciously. The best thing to do to have your brain happy is to start a smile. These studies A  and B demonstrates that. Smiling makes you happier and improves how you think and how you feel about yourself.

Look in the eye – This is a challenge for most people. Do you look the ground when you walk to avoid looking people in the eye ? Or if a person look you in the eye, you turn your head ? Most people do that automatically and shouts « I don’t feel safe ». As you develop your self-confidence, concentrate yourself to keep your eye contact.

An article about eye contact says that studies  have shown that people who had a good level of eye contact (look in the eye) were perceived a being :

• Most dominant and powerful

• Warm and friendly

• More attractive and friendly

• Most qualified and competent

• More trustworthy, honest and sincere

• More confident and emotionally stable

If you have an appointment or an intense conversation with your teacher or your boss, maintaining eye contact is a demonstration of confidence and self-respect.

Test ! While you walk down in the street, keeping eye contact with a stranger. If the stranger looks at you, keeping the eye contact even if your brain tells you the opposite and made a smile briefly and continue your way.

Tell me how was the test and do you have other tips to build your self-confidence ?

-Steph

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